Transform Your Relationship with Food

food pizza woman

There is a growing concern amoung youth regarding body image, whether it be height, weight, or attractiveness that can lead to body dysmorphia. Although not my area of expertise, I am seeing signs and symptoms of this emerging in my practice. To better understand these developments, I recently read a book by Jenna Hollenstein, called Eat to Love: A Mindful Guide to Transforming Your Relationship with Food, Body and Life; I think this quote nicely illustrates the current context:

Two young fish are swimming along when they happened to meet an older fish swimming in the opposite direction. The older fish nods at them and says “morning boys how’s the water”? The two young fish swim on for a bit until eventually one of them looks over at the other and says “what the hell is water”?

Jenna explains that this water that we are all swimming in is the current diet culture we are exposed to on a daily basis. We seem to be completely unaware of the impact diet culture has on who we are and perceive ourselves to be, even though we are literally eating, sleeping and breathing it. The book focusses on our relationship to food and highlights a range of mistaken approaches such as magical eating.  The author describes this as follows:

Swimming in the diet culture gives rise to what I call magical eating:  the search for the diet that will lead to peace, endless happiness and end to our suffering. Magical eating comes in many varieties: weight watchers, the health food junkie, the boot camp devotee, the vegan, the lifestyle changer or the fearful eater.

She further suggests there is a fat bias in our culture and that magical eating in the way of diet trends (i.e. paleo, keto), starts to trap us in a never ending cycle of wanting to be different than who we are. Seeing our body as a problem to be fixed can lead to confusion and suffering, especially for adolescents who may already feel awkward about themselves. With an increasing number of males coming into my practice expressing issues with their bodies, this book was a helpful resource to illuminate how our diet culture is impacting us all. My final thought on this book is best summed up by Hollenstein herself:

There are two different intentions behind anything we do for self improvement: we are either problems that need to be fixed or we accept ourselves as we are with compassion and the desire to do better.







Growing concern about Problematic Digital Use (PDU)


Interesting conversation on CBC Metro Morning with Matt Galloway and Lisa Pont, Social Worker at CAMH, about young people, devices and social media. Growing concern about problematic digital use is showing up across a range of populations, but especially for the young and vulnerable (i.e. ADHD, ASD, LD) and we are starting to see the growing negative impacts. Big tech companies are also starting to recognize their moral obligations, questioning the development of technologies that have preyed on the most psychologically vulnerable individuals. Have a listen to the CBC Radio segment about smartphone use.

Fascinating to hear how we are now moving from unbridled proliferation of technologies to a discussion of moral and ethical use of tech in society. For those experiencing the negative impacts of tech use, I continue to develop and integrate treatment through my Problematic Digital Use (PDU) program module.


Turn Issues into Answers with Social Work

Social Work has been my profession for over two decades and I’m proud to be a member of the Ontario Association of Social Workers. When I was in school at York University, I gravitated towards Social Work for it’s professional designation to address a range of issues. Coming from a background in Sociology and Family/Gender studies, Social Work presented an opportunity to use my understanding of social systems with psychotherapy to address challenges to mental health.

In anticipation of Social Work Week, I’d like to share this video. I encourage my readers to also share this video (via Twitter, Facebook, etc.) with the hashtag: #turnissuesintoanswers to help bring a greater understanding of Social Work as a profession for addressing mental health in Ontario. Click here if you would like to learn more about Social Work.


Glow Kids: Book points to neurological changes associated with screen time

screen-shot-2016-10-25-at-12-52-02-pmYoung adolescent clients (and their families) often express a range of concerns associated with technology use and its potential negative impacts on quality of life and relationships. From a psychotherapeutic perspective, I am often trying to understand the balance between the personal benefits of tech use and the negative implications (e.g. power struggle and addictive type behaviour). In my private practice, this is becoming a noticeable emergent area of concern and one that requires thoughtful and informed consideration.

Recently I picked up a new book that attempts to illuminate the issue: Glow Kids: How Screen Addiction Is Hijacking Our Kids-and How to Break the Trance. I am impressed with how the author, Nicholas Kardaras, examines the sociological, psychological, cultural and economic factors driving the tech epidemic while relating the impacts on kids. The book is a worthwhile read, effectively highlighting the growing body of research linking ADHD, addiction, anxiety, depression, increased aggression and in some instances even psychosis with screen time and associated technologies. It even connects neurological brain damage that can occur in the developing brain in ways that mimic cocaine addiction.

Without a doubt, we need to acquire a better understanding and appreciation for the implications of our increasing reliance on technological devices and the impacts especially on the young developing brain. While far from suggesting that society ought to turn back the clock (or should I say iWatch) on the tech boom – we do need to uncover and freely discuss such advances and its consequences for the whole generation of Glow Kids

Is self-regulation failure a moral failure?

Today I want to share some insights about self-regulation. What is self-regulation anyway? Is it self-control? Is it motivation to get up and get things done? Are there degrees of self-regulation or is it something you either have or don’t have?

LazyI have asked these questions throughout my years as a psychotherapist working with people who are looking to improve their lives and who struggle with self-regulation. Often their disappointment is framed in judgments like, “It’s because I don’t really care about anything” or “I’m just lazy”, or “she is out of control”, or “he is defiant and oppositional”. Blaming one self or blaming others for various failures seems to be the go to response and may well be associated with a societal tendency toward punitive approaches. These powerful sentiments are difficult to manage and understand. Let’s take a quick look at some definitions from a few self-regulation experts and begin to understand a little more about this largely misunderstood aspect of our humanity.   Here goes and I’ll put my spin on it too.

Bauer and Baumeister (p65) define self-regulation as the “capacity to override natural and automatic tendencies; desires or behaviours; to pursue long-term goals, even at the expense of short-term attractions; and to follow socially prescribed norms and rules”. This sounds a lot like self-control or will power doesn’t it? Students that procrastinate on doing their assignments, or weight watchers that break their diets and shoppers that spend beyond their means are just a few examples of self-regulation failure.   Bauer and Baumeister go on to describe self-regulation as a “strength model”, which draws upon a “common energy supply…like a muscle that grows tired and weak after being exercised, the capacity for self control also weakens with repeated attempts at self control”.

So perhaps self regulation or self control should not be seen as a moral failing rather simply a lack of necessary muscle to fuel ones’ ability to carry the weight of a response at any given moment or that the energy of the muscle has been depleted through use before the demand of carrying such a weight could be completed. This has great implications for how we respond to the youth who misbehaves, the colleague who has not completed a project or a spouse who has gone on a spending spree. Perhaps, the cause of their so-called transgression was not a moral failing but rather simply a depletion of self-regulation energy resource.

The hopeful piece here is that just like a muscle that can be developed to be bigger and stronger so that it can carry a heavier load for a longer period of time, so self regulation can be developed to be more robust and useful for longer periodsarm-muscle-bicep-293x200. Instead of judging or blaming we can think about how to (i) better direct this limited energy resource, (ii) conserve the energy resource so we can follow through on tasks, and (iii) discover the best ways to recharge the energy resource when it is depleted. Lets look at another aspect of self-regulation to enhance our understanding.

Carver and Scheier (p 3) refer to self regulation as “the sense that self-corrective adjustments are taking place as needed to stay on track for the purpose being served (whether this entails overriding another impulse of simply reacting to perturbations from other sources) and the sense that the corrective adjustments originate within the person. These points converge in the view that behaviour is a continual process of moving toward (and sometimes away from) goal representations”. So it seems to me that this model of self-regulation is a recalibration and a lot like our GPS in the car when we are using it to get to a dinner party in an area we have not been to before. If you make a wrong turn, the voice on the GPS says “recalculating” and then tells you to travel along so many meters or kilometers and readjust left or right till the next instructions. Not a bad prescription for life I would say. The famous samurai swordsman and ronin Myamoto Musashi noted the secret to his success was his ability to “respond as the situation developed”. This simple phrase is brought to life in Jiu-jitsu training and in mixed martial arts. Responding as the situation develops positions one in the moment-by-moment interaction with whatever arises or falls away. I’m fascinated to see professional hockey players respond to the situation as it develops at such a rapid pace that it is actually difficult to track even from the birds eye point of view we have from the broadcast. I think what is most encouraging about this model, is that we can practice recalibrating and recalculating in the sports we play so that this feature of self-regulation becomes more robust. But if you don’t play sports, you might notice how one does this driving or even cooking a meal or navigating throughout the office or school day. This is just one more piece to understanding the self-regulation puzzle. I very much like the above self-regulation models. They take the blame out of failure and encourage hope in that there are things we can do to improve our self-regulation strength to achieve the goals we value. So the next time you miss your workout or your spouse leaves the dishes in the sink or your child melts down after school because his computer game shut down, think about how self regulation strength may be depleted and that perhaps responding as the situation develops by recharging the self regulation muscle in a way that brings about rest and acceptance rather than judgment and guilt will ultimately be your best bet in making the situation better.

Reference: Handbook of Self –Regulation: Research, Theory and Applications, Second Edition, The Guilford Press New York, London

Child Misbehaviour and Energy

While studying for my masters in Social Work, I had my sights set on working with adults in probation. I strongly felt that my psychotherapy service would be best suited for an older justice-involved population. After working some time with these adult probation clients and hearing their childhood and adolescent stories of self-regulation failure in school, with authority, in their behaviour and in their learning habits, this changed. I started to wonder whether working with a younger age group might be more preventative and supportive. So I started to work with justice-involved young adults and teenagers struggling with self-regulation. Their stories mirrored the adult males I worked with in probation, but even these youth expressed early childhood difficulties of how their formative years were laden with strife and misunderstanding. So I made my way to working with an even younger population with the rationale that it would be preemptive in supporting youth with behavioural difficulties and or serious mental health challenges.

Today while I continue to work with adults across a spectrum of need, I also work with children and believe that the neuroscience evidence is overwhelming with regard to the benefits of exercise, coordinated sport activity, meditation, yoga, psychotherapy and other body, mind and brain activities. Approaches that integrate these elements have been shown to improve brain structure and brain function with signs that early intervention has significant long-term benefits.

As I aM (AIM) – Addressing Child Behavioural Problems

I have developed a new program called Activity Integrated Mindfulness (AIM) for adolescent ages 12-14 that addresses the self-regulation needs of this population. AIM (which stands for both Activity Integrated Mindfulness and As I aM) is a health and wellness psychotherapy that includes mindfulness in movement. This individual, family and/or group program is designed for boys and girls ages 9-12 to facilitate body, mind and brain integration. Just “As I Am” is the overall principle that encourages self acceptance while clients learn:

  • Self-regulation skills that build resiliency
  • Mindfulness in movement and multiple breathing skills
  • Yoga and basic martial arts
  • Mastery, Trust and Psychological Flexibility

Operating out of an Experiential Exercise Psychotherapy (EXP) model, it is understood that self-regulation is a limited but renewable resource and that self-regulation failure results from the depletion of self-regulation resources (energy) and not a motivational or moral failing. Moreover, the biochemical individuality of each person determines how much of this resource is used and which activities deplete it. There is no cookie cutter solution and the approach is specific to the individual. Therefore, the As I aM program takes the position that participants already have what they need, to be the best they can be and that conservation and conscientious direction of their limited but renewable energy is the path to self-regulation success in endeavors that matter to them. As I aM will assist participants in understanding the

  • importance of personal energy
  • how energy flow is inherent in the body, mind and brain and
  • how to recognize when it is depleted so that
  • the energy can be renewed for self regulation success.

As I aM will assist participants in understanding how they can best direct their limited energies in the activities they already value rather than adding onto their workload with new practice activities that will only serve to further deplete resources. Through conservation, more efficient direction, graduated extension of the activity and recharge, participants will gain a foundation for increasing their self-regulation capacity as they mature into their self-regulation skills. As I aM operates from the position that the child is already perfectly whole and that further integration of this body, mind and brain is the working foundation for more efficient energy to do what a child wants to do and needs to do for successful self-regulation.

Stress, School and Self-Regulation

In my practice, I have seen a growing number of adolescents and young adults struggling with stress and anxiety.  This translates into difficulties which unfortunately are not being effectively considered within the educational system. A recent article in the Toronto Star on Student Stress interviewing York Professor Stuart Shanker highlights the problem.

“Life is very complex; our children are exposed to stressors in everything from video games to junk food, and anxiety is one of the biggest problems in elementary schools, high schools, even post-secondary,” said Shanker.

My own experience in treating clients through programs like Mindfulness Martial Arts and Taming the Bull, is that self-regulation is key to addressing what Shanker calls the core-competencies. A recent report published by the People for Education outlines the five core social-emotional competencies (self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, interpersonal relationships and decision-making).  I am personally very pleased to see advocates suggesting that schools focus greater attention on student well-being, mental health and social-emotional development.

Is Exercise a Prescription for Mental Health?

Current “wisdom” encourages individuals to exercise as a solution to just about every ailment imaginable and this is understandable given all the evidence that exercise has numerous benefits to overall health and well-being.  But for individuals who struggle with mental health, even getting started is a challenge.  A recent article by the BBC highlights a new sports program in England attempting to overcome obstacles to physical activity and exercise for individuals with mental health issues. I see this as a positive development, however simply prescribing exercise may not be an option for everyone.

In my experience, a critical step to improving mental health is addressing self-regulation; something which is vital to daily life. Individuals who suffer with anxiety and depression often experience difficulties with self-regulation that negatively impact motivation, sleeping patterns and eating habits. Simply adding exercise to the daily routine of an individual who is already under resourced and strained may garner some benefits, but is likely to result in self-regulation failure in the long run.

I have found that integrating exercise within the context of the counselling process, something I call Experiential Exercise Psychotherapy (or EXP for short), holds promise for those who encounter mental health and self-regulation challenges. By improving self-regulation skills that combine physical/social and cognitive/emotional strength building, individuals experience incremental gains that create a foundation for further growth.

When I began developing and using the principles of EXP (where body, mind and brain activities were continuously integrated within the therapeutic relationship), clients successes became apparent across a spectrum of life activities. So while I support participation in exercise and sport activities wholeheartedly, I am skeptical about prescribing it as a standalone antidote for individuals struggling with poor self-regulation and mental health issues.

Pot and the Teenage Brain

Here is an interesting Globe and Mail article that discusses the impact of marijuana on the young brain.  I was especially fascinated to read about the learning problems of an overtaxed brain as well as the risks for potential psychosis associated with pot use.

Taming the Bull: A Guide to Strengthening Self-Regulation

Recently, I have completed the new program manual called Taming the Bull: A Guide to Strengthening Self-Regulation.  This manual compliments the current therapy I offer to clients and includes a practitioner and client handbook as well as resources and images that are useful for those having difficulty with self-regulation.  In the near future, I hope to offer workshops to health practitioners interested in this program.